Sinners Repent!

HI FOLKS! Rev'rend Oral McJorrity
here, with some important
news about the END OF
THE WORLD!"

YOU ARE DOOMED!

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, brothers
and sisters, and YOUR ASS IS FINISHED!"

THE END IS NEAR!

That's right - you heard me. You
SINFUL BASTARDS out there,
wallowing in SIN and CORRUPTION
don't have a snowball's chance
of survivin' the APOCALYPSE.."


UNLESS - You're smart enough to call now - WHILE
THERE'S STILL TIME! For a mere $5, I am pleased
to announce that due to a Special Dispensation
offered through our Ministry, DIRECT from the
ALMIGHTY HIMSELF, I can GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE SAVED!"


You heard right, folks! Salvation - GUARANTEED -
for ONLY FIVE DOLLARS!"

* 1-800-TOK-2GOD *

CALL NOW! You can recieve IMMEDIATE FORGIVENESS,
right through our TOLL FREE service! Just choose
your method of payment, and then offer your
ABJECT CONFESSION to the CREATOR,
right after you hear the beep!"



REMEMBER! This is your last chance EVER, before
the WORLD ENDS

CALL NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW!

It'll only take a few minutes, and there are so
PRECIOUS FEW LEFT! Just imagine - for a paltry
FIVE BUCKS, you'll wake up in the LOVING ARMS
OF THE LORD, the instant the APPOCOLYPSE HAPPENS!"


Now, if that doesn't sound like
a DEAL to YOU, then I don't
know what would!"

So pull out those credit cards, cash, checks,
or money orders, and PICK UP THE PHONE!"

You'd best hurry, though. This
is a LIMITED TIME OFFER! If you
don't take advantage of it -
SOON - I can guarantee you'll
wake up, BARKING IN HELL,

Thankyou for your attention.
We now return you suckers to
your regularly scheduled pro-
gramming of filth, smut, and
vile depravity, wishing you
a good evening, and reminding
you that the LAKE OF FIRE
is READY & WAITING for
YOUR sorry ass!

Sinners Repent!
CALL NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW!
* 1-800-TOK-2GOD *